Redefining Divorce: The Amicable Way
Child Custody Mediation
What is "child custody mediation"?
When parents cannot agree on the custody or visitation issues surrounding their children, the judge will send the parents to mediation.
What is "custody"?
"Custody" means:
- who makes important decisions for the child (health care, education, and welfare of the child)
- who the child lives with most of the time
This is often called a "custody schedule."
Can we tell the judge what kind of custody we want?
Absolutely. In mediation, because the couple doesn't go to court, as long as the agreed upon custody schedule is fair, reasonable, and in the child's best interest, the court will likely approve the agreement when we submit it to the court. If you are going the litigious route, you can tell the court what you want to happen with the custody schedule but the court's decision (Judge or Commissioner) is unpredictable.
What if we don't agree on custody?
The judge may ask a "mediator" to assist you with making a parenting plan or to suggest one. A parenting plan includes a schedule dictating who the child lives with and when, who makes the important decisions for the child (usually both parents) and the custodial timeshare.
What is a "mediator"?
Mediators help parents make parenting plans that are in the child's best interest. Often times, parents lose sight of the "child's best interest" because they are compromised emotionally as a result of the marital breakdown. A good mediator can guide the parents through the child custody process and re focus them on the big picture: Child's best interest.
What special words will the mediator use?
The mediator may talk to you about:
- legal custody
- visitation
- supervised visitation
- physical custody
- evaluators
- children's attorneys
If you do not understand these words, ask your mediator to explain.
Is what I say to the mediator private?
Not always. The mediator can tell the other parent what you say. Sometimes, a mediator will tell the judge what you say. The mediator may report child abuse. Ask your mediator to explain the privacy rules.
What is "supervised visitation"?
"Supervised visitation" means the child can visit the other parent if another adult is present. Ask your mediator if there is a "supervised visitation center" where you live. If there is no center in your area, talk with your mediator about other options.
Need more information?
Go to: www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp
Call the National Domestic Violence
Hotline (24 hours): 1-800-799-7233
TDD: 1-800-787-3224 It's free and private. They can help you in more than 100 languages.
